When I got married and was establishing new Christmas traditions with my husband and children, I had a real struggle on my hands. My husband (now Darling eX-Husband) had a very difficult time at Christmas. I had heard of such things, but had never met anyone that actually experienced it. It wasn't until many years later that we discovered that he was struggling with Bipolar Disorder. It was a few years after that we discovered that Bipolar Disorder was a trait passed to two of our children. Hooray for DNA!
Unfortunately, many of our Christmas memories are like those of children who grew up with alcoholics. We definitely put the funk in dys-funk-tional!
So here we are, it's Christmas 2011. "DXH" is happily married to "ESM" (the kids lovingly refer to her as Evil Step-Mother--seriously, it's meant as a term of endearment!) He's stable and working. "The Hulk" is living with them and doesn't turn green nearly as often as he used to. "The Riddler" is managing his condition proactively and creatively. These are all things for which I am profoundly grateful. BUT, my children for the most part have grown up planning on Christmas being disappointing and painful. This leaves me in the throes of trying to establish all new positive Christmas traditions and Christmas memories. I'm trying to re-create Christmas magic with little money, zero time, and not much hope of success. My hope is that the kids will establish all new magical traditions with their spouses and children. My hope is that they recognize that I kept trying and never gave up.
Here is what we do every year (or nearly every year):
- Plan on sending Christmas newsletter
- Plan on sending New Year's newsletter
- Plan on sending Ground Hog Day newsletter
- Shoot for next year on the newsletter
- Commit to fitness goals between Thanksgiving and Christmas
- Forget fitness goals when there is fudge in the room
- Re-commit to fitness goals for the New Year
- Forget fitness goal--it's 15 below!
- Read Samuel the Lamanite's prophecies.
- Read Isaiah's prophecies
- Make Latkes and spin the Dreydl for Hanukkah
- Listen to the children remind me that "Mom, you know we're not Jewish, right?"
- Smile three months later when same children ask if we can have a Passover Seder.
- Plan to take the kids on a ski trip in lieu of presents
- Look at bank balance and rule out ski trip
- Ignor bank balance and go skiing anyway.
- Receive $25 parking ticket for parking on the even side of the street on an odd day.
- Revisit bank balance--make a list of people to whom I can get away with giving baked goods or thoughtful homemade gifts.
- Sing The Messiah with the Symphony Chorus
- Debate the benefits of the live vs. artificial Christmas tree
- Absolutely forbid the use of tinsel
- Reverse tinsel mandate.
- Curse the tangle of Christmas lights--This tradition is passed down from my dad.
- Wonder why my Christmas tree always looks like it got dressed in the dark--blame the tinsel.
- Attend friend's Caroling party, but avoid actual caroling because it 15 below and the buffet is warm.
- Watch Charlie Brown Christmas and cry when Linus recites Luke 2
- Watch It's a Wonderful Life and cry.
- Watch How the Grinch Stole Christmas (Boris Karloff version) and cry.
- Watch A Christmas Story and laugh and cry--prompting children to comment on my tendency to cry over EVERY movie I watch.
- Avoid all Lifetime Made for TV Christmas movies.
- Enjoy goodies left by the "Christmas Ninjas"
- Act as "Christmas Ninjas"
- Absolutely refuse to go in to work on Christmas Eve
- Go in to work on Christmas Eve
- Show up an hour and a half late to my brother's house--see previous item.
- Shop for stocking stuffers at Walgreen's on Christmas eve becasue they're the only store still open.
- Read A Visit from Saint Nicholas
- Read Luke 2 with the kids.
- Cook a turkey and have someone ask why we're not having ham
- Cook a ham and have someone ask why we're not having turkey
- Ponder the possibility of melting chocolate on a spoon and injecting into my veins
- Sing "Santa Baby" until children beg me to stop.
- Try singing other carols to get endless loop of "Santa Baby" out of my head.
- "Santa Baby" replaced by endless loop of "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas"
- Call my family on the phone.
- Realize Christmas was just fine and wonder what I was so panicked about.
