Most, if not all, of you knew my father. You know how blessed I am. I feel like Nephi did at the beginning of the Book of Mormon. "I, [Margaret] having been born of goodly parents, therefore I was taught somewhat in all the learning of my father.”
When my dad was in the hospital, and then when he passed on, I thought quite a bit about being taught in the learning of my father. He was an accountant, very skilled in math. I am a music teacher, I can count to 4 over and over again. I thought about the lessons my father had taught me. My brother and I were talking about this. We realized that our dad was not the type to sit us down and have heart-to-heart talks with us. Of course, we talked about all manner of things, but he never said to me, “Peg, a good work ethic is an important character trait.” He simply got up every morning, put on his tie and went to work. He never said, “always be honest” he simply was honest. He didn’t tell me how important education was, he just never stopped learning. He didn’t explicitly teach us life’s lessons, he simply lived them. He just walked the walk. I am eternally grateful for the example that he set for me.
Unfortunately, in our society, and indeed within our Church, there are many who are not as fortunate as I have been. According to the National Center for Health Statistics nearly 40% of all babies born in the US are born to single mothers. Twenty-five million children are being raised in single parent households. Maybe this is your story as well. Maybe your own father was absent. Perhaps he died, perhaps your parents were divorced, perhaps he was there in body but not in spirit. For you, Father’s Day may be a difficult day to celebrate.
Our Heavenly Father loves us, he knows us individually, and he does not leave us comfortless. If your story is a fatherless one, who filled that gap for you? Did your mom play both roles? Was it an uncle, a grandfather, a step-dad ? (the Savior was raised by a step-dad by the way) I hope that we will take time today to thank and honor not only our biological fathers, but also our good father figures.
I have had some very fine examples set for my children not only by their grandfather, but by bishops, home teachers, quorum leaders, and family friends. I have offered many prayers of gratitude for these men.
I remember a deacons quorum leader in the foyer with his arms around Max’s shoulders teaching him how to tie his tie. I remember coming home in the wee hours after one of many visits to the ER with my daredevil son Spencer and having my home teacher chastise me. “I don’t care if it’s three in the morning...911 first, home teacher second.” Many, many calls for priesthood blessings when Liam was raging out of control from a misdiagnosed, incorrectly medicated mood disorder. Good bishops and leaders who taught my sons how to perform their priesthood duties. A home teacher who baptized my youngest. Full-time missionaries and ward missionaries who came to my home and taught my son-in-law the gospel. Family friends who took my boys along on Father and Son campouts, taught my daughter how to change tires and change oil, made household and automotive repairs I couldn’t do on my own.
How grateful I am to these men for taking to heart the Apostle James’ words, “Pure religion and undefiled before God the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction...” (James 1:27)
How grateful I am that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, while sensitive to those in differing circumstances, continues to teach that a traditional nuclear family with a mother and a father, legally and lawfully wedded, is the correct model to follow.
In The Family: A Proclamation to the World the Church makes clear Heavenly Father’s revealed pattern.
WE, THE FIRST PRESIDENCY and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children. ¶1
HUSBAND AND WIFE have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations. ¶6
THE FAMILY is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.
¶7
WE WARN that individuals ... who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets. ¶8
What an inspired document this is! Yes, individual adaptation is sometimes unavoidable. As a non-traditional family, we have to look at ourselves and say, “This is the way things are and we will do the best we can with what we have. HOWEVER! this is not the way it is SUPPOSED to be.”
The world’s loud clamoring sends a very different, very persistent, very repetitive, and very destructive message. Even supposedly wholesome family entertainment that demonstrates two-parent households portrays those parents as bumbling idiots not worthy of respect. Shows that portray loving parents with respectful children are derided as corny, schmaltzy and unrealistic. It seems that it is more important to be witty and ironic than it is to be kind and unselfish.
May we make a conscientious effort to block out and reject the world’s clamoring and Satan’s none-too-subtle attack on the home and family.
This past year and a half, our home has had a very fluid and chaotic structure as our household went from being myself and four minor children to being myself, four minor children, my married daughter’s family of four, two extra grandchildren, a returned missionary, a returned 19yo and his buddy, two dogs, four guinea pigs, a rat, a toad, a gecko and a tank of fish. As we struggled to adjust a multi-generational, multi-family household, my 19yo encouraged me to remind myself with a chant. Whose house? MY house!
Let’s take back our homes and our families with this protective attitude. Whose house? MY house. Practice saying it on the way home today. It’s fun!
Let us make our homes havens where “Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.”
The Proclamation concludes with these words: WE CALL UPON responsible citizens and officers of gov- ernment everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.
Let us be as Joshua when he issued the challenge “Choose you this day whom ye will serve; but (say it with me) as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."
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